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A Letter
of Apology
  

My Apology to the Arab World
http://patriotpost.us/news/sorry.asp
Mike
S. Adams
Lately,
I've been hearing a lot about
the Iraqi prisoner abuse
scandal. The pictures of those
"abused" prisoners
have been plastered all over the
front pages of papers around the
country. Some of my conservative
friends have interpreted the
excessive coverage as proof that
papers like the New York Times
are actually rooting against
America in its current war on
terror. Even those who aren't
willing to go that far say that
such coverage is helping the
enemy to recruit a new
generation of terrorists to
inflict harm upon our troops.

Despite
these views, I have decided to
make a formal public apology to
the entire Arab world in the
aftermath of Abu Ghraib. It is
my hope that the following
apology will help bring some
clarity to the situation and,
who knows, maybe even lasting
world peace:
Dear
Arabs,
I
am truly sorry that Americans
decided to take up arms and
sacrifice their own youth in the
defense of Muslims in Bosnia,
Kosovo, and the first Gulf War.
After we clear up this mess in
Iraq, we will refrain from any
such activity in the future.

I
am truly sorry that I did not
hear any of you call for an
apology from Muslim extremists
after 911. After all, the
hijackers were all Arabs.? ?I am
truly sorry that Arabs have to
live in squalor under savage
dictatorships throughout the
Middle East. I am also sorry
that the "leaders" of
these nations drive their
citizens into poverty by keeping
all of the wealth in the hands
of a select few.

I
am also sorry that these
governments intentionally breed
hate for the U.S. in their
religious schools while American
schools do the exact opposite.

I
am sorry that Yasir Arafat has
been kicked out of every Arab
country and has attached his
name to the Palestinian
"cause." I am also
sorry that no other Arab country
will offer nearly as much
support to Arafat as we offer to
them.

I
am sorry that the U.S. has
continued to serve as the
biggest financial supporter of
poverty stricken Arab nations
while wealthy Arab leaders blame
the U.S. for all of their
problems.

I
am sorry that left-wing media
elites would Rather (pun
intended) not talk about any of
this, thereby perpetuating your
anger towards us. It's probably
really bad for your blood
pressure. I am also sorry that
most of you lack the medical
resources to measure your blood
pressure. And, of course, I'm
sorry that few of you have
indoor plumbing. That's bad for
your health, too.

I
am sorry that the U.N. cheated
so many poor people in Iraq out
of their "food for
oil" money so they could
get rich while the tortured,
raped, and poverty-stricken
citizens of Iraq suffered under
Saddam Hussein.

I
am sorry that some Arab
governments pay the families of
homicide bombers after their
children are blown to pieces in
pursuit of Arafat's
"cause." ? ?I am sorry
that these homicide bombers have
as little regard for babies as
the local office of Planned
Parenthood.

I
am sorry that so many people are
unable to differentiate between
the gang rape rooms and mass
graves of Saddam Hussein on the
one hand, and the conditions of
Abu Ghraib on the other.? ?I am
sorry that our prison guards do
not show the same restraint that
Arabs show when their brothers
in arms are killed. By the way,
you shouldn't be sorry about
that.

I
am sorry that foreign trained
terrorists are trying to seize
control of Iraq and return it to
a terrorist state. I am sorry we
have not yet dropped at least
100 Daisy cutters on Fallujah in
order to stop that effort.

I
am also sorry that cleaning up
the mess in Iraq is taking so
long. It only took Saddam
Hussein about 30 years to
accomplish all he did in the
realm of human rights. Come to
think of it, that's about ten
years less than the duration of
our War on Poverty in the U.S.
Come to think of it, I'm sorry
we haven't sent all of our gang
bangers from South Central Los
Angeles to Fallujah.

I
am sorry that every time the
terrorists hide, it just happens
to be inside a "Holy
Site."

I
am sorry that Muslim extremists
have not yet apologized for the
U.S.S. ?Cole, the embassy
bombings, and for flying a plane
into the World Trade Center,
which collapsed in part on Saint
Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church,
which is one of our Holy Sites.

I
am sorry that we have not taken
a portion of the diet of Michael
Moore and shipped it to one of
your starving villages in the
Middle East. You need it Moore
(pun intended) than he does.

I
am sorry that your only
supporters are professors,
journalists, and other assorted
Leftists who also support
homosexuals, bisexuals,
transsexuals, partial birth
abortion, and everything that
you abhor in this world. I am
sorry that everyone else in
America is against you.

Finally,
I am sorry that I am going to
have to end this apology by
asking you to kiss the right
side of my conservative butt.
I'm probably just having a bad
day.

For
that I am truly sorry.

Mike
Adams is a criminology professor
at the University of North
Carolina Wilmington and is a
regular columnist for
Townhall.com.

"For good
and ill, the Iraqi prisoner
abuse mess will
remain an issue.
On the one hand, right thinking
Americans will harbor the stupidity of the actions
while on the other hand,
political glee will take control
and fashion this
minor event into some modern day
massacre.

http://patriotpost.us/news/sorry.asp
Mike
S. Adams

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